


taste tester

by ShipperTrash140109



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Past Relationship(s), Season 4 Spoilers, Tags Are Hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:47:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24605668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShipperTrash140109/pseuds/ShipperTrash140109
Summary: Winston realises as he watches Alex walk past prom invitation after prom invitation from Charlie that he’s always been the taste tester.Interesting enough to get someone started, but never good enough to make them stick.
Relationships: Alex Standall/Winston Williams, Montgomery de la Cruz/Winston Williams
Comments: 43
Kudos: 103





	taste tester

**Author's Note:**

> this is far shorter than my usual stuff but i really wanted to get something out for these boys, i know the fandom needs it. also ruby if youre reading this before finishing season 4 im going to kick your arse
> 
> anyway, enjoy, leave a comment and a kudos, check the end notes for something important!  
> (also i dont condone montys actions, he was a terrible person but as we all been knew winston definitely idolised monty and was in love w the idea of him yada yada)

Winston realises as he watches Alex walk past prom invitation after prom invitation from Charlie that he’s always been the taste tester.

Interesting enough to get someone started, but never good enough to make them stick. He knows that logic is technically flawed, given that Charlie St. George is the most bland piece of golden retriever bullshit in the school, and therefore he cannot physically be any less interesting than Alex’s new _boyfriend_ , but the thought still hurts. He knows that since he was sixteen none of his relationships have really ended in a nice, neat little breakup- not with Alex (dumped), or Monty (dead), but he knows what he was to them- convenient, convenient and disposable in the end like those pink little spoons they give you at Baskin Robbins to see if you like the flavour you’ve been curious about for oh so long. It makes him wonder, if Monty hadn’t died would he have stuck around? If he did would it be because he actually _liked_ Winston? Or would he just stick around because Winston was his best choice- his only choice, really.

Alex might’ve wanted to- if it hadn’t been for Clay- fucking Clay- stupid, meddling psycho that he was, with all his detective expertise and ability to somehow be wedged elbow-deep in everyone else’s business couldn’t figure out that Winston actually liked Alex- _loved him._ He’d sidelined his own half-baked revenge plot for Alex, it was all so obvious, so cliched that he’d started their whole little game of chicken to get information and only served to get himself heartbroken with a severe case of ‘feelings.’

He supposed there was a silver lining to being people’s taste tester, and that was that he could watch- watch as all the little pieces slowly fit together and watch the confusion that followed.

They’d both been searching, trying to find something in themselves- in Winston- an answer maybe, to a question they’d both been trying to solve for seemingly forever. Both had been so confused, worn out, watching helplessly as the possible answers to their questions slowly diminished until there was only one answer to it all. He supposed it was fascinating- watching confusion of that degree present itself in people.

Monty predictably dealt with it like he dealt with most things- with anger, with hatred, and then when you peeled all that away and left him raw and defenceless, he was just hopelessly _desolate_. Without his anger he was nothing, just a sobbing, scared mess of a boy with too much bullshit on his shoulders. It would’ve happened eventually, Winston knew that even without Tyler- without them telling the cops it would’ve happened, Monty would’ve broke one day, would’ve just wound up in a cell with a shiv in him all the same, and Winston would still be powerless to stop it. When you react to everything like Monty did, there is never a good end.

Alex though, Alex was so different- Winston had been able to pick it up the second he met him, that questioning behind the pale blue of his eyes, the eye contact that seemed so elusive up until you caught it, and then it was intense and consuming and felt like the way the ground shook when you call out a nervous ‘hello?’ in a dark, empty room- hoping for someone to be there, to keep you from facing utter loneliness. Winston had realised too late that he’d been playing himself as much as he’d been playing Alex.

Monty tried to resist it for so long, even when he was balls goddamn deep, he always tried to resist- kept Winston on his stomach- see no evil do no evil, right? Winston never really minded, not when Monty would turn to mush afterwards with his head clear but foggy from what was likely the only good fuck he’d had since he figured out how to use his dick. Winston knew girls would never itch that scratch deep inside the other man- no matter how many he went through. He took pride in that- being able to be that person for him, his confidante, even. To be able to lie safely in the arms of a man like that was its own kind of thrill, to curl against him and know he’s touching Monty like none other has, calming the bristling rage inside of him for just a moment like nobody else could. In their own little world.

Alex knew he was done for the second Winston touched his hand, in the sense that he knew what he was, and that he couldn’t escape it- shouldn’t try to because it’s him, it’s who he is. Any doubts he’d had were as good as dust by the time they finally kissed, finally confirmed what had been innocently, quietly building between them. Alex was gentle- so gentle and warm and so kind that it fucking hurt. Winston had gone from one extreme to the next, it seemed. They’d never gone the full way before Alex dumped him, but it had been fun, had been easy and light and Winston never would’ve had this with Monty but he had it with Alex and he couldn’t get enough of it. Making out the night of the valentine’s dance, rutting up against each other like giddy, hormonal teenagers because that’s what they _are_ , young and stupid and in love. They’d only ever hung out at Winston’s house a couple times before the camping trip, rolling around together on the bed Monty had fucked Winston in all those times, now used for cuddling and kissing and, thanks to Alex’s adorable nerves, awkwardly rubbing each other off for a total of ten seconds before Alex was shooting because it’s new and exciting and the final, confirming piece to a puzzle that had gone much too long unsolved.

Maybe Winston was lucky for bearing witness to such an intimate moment in their lives, lucky to be the one to help them finally realise such a crucial part of their lives they’d never been brave enough to explore before. Maybe he was one of the most important people in their lives, at least their high school lives; the one that put it all together and laid it out for them.

But then again, it felt an awful lot like being a taste tester.

**Author's Note:**

> first of all, comments and kudos are extremely appreciated, but also if you've got any winston/monty or winston/alex ideas u want written feel free to hmu in the comments or on tumblr at 'alaqatzam'. thank you for reading!
> 
> also i dont hate charlie i just think he was a bit boring and alex looked way happier around winston xx


End file.
